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Boy I sure do know how to screw myself all up. I am in such a pickle, that I don't know where to turn next.
- posted by Bruce @ 10:27 PM

 
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Today wasn't so bad, saw Jaclyn, we talked about Betty, which always makes my day... it was a good day overall. I wish Betty and I would get together. I know I wouldn't be so depressed all the time, but current percentages are falling off that Betty will leave Joe(6.784%), or Joe leave Betty(13.241%). She is definitely worth it... Anyways, time to go dream about Betty... Sweet dreams all...
- posted by Bruce @ 9:25 PM

 
what wonderful weather
Dang it is miserable this evening... missed seeing Megan, but ce la vie... didn't get a message back from Betty, but she has four kids to take care of so I can excuse her, but that's only cause I like her... Kayla have me a fry so the day is getting better...
- posted by Bruce @ 5:09 PM

 
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Ok, training today wasn't so bad, actually learned something, but now, teaching these wonderful kids. I really just love teaching these wonderful kids... oh well...
- posted by Bruce @ 12:40 PM

 
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Well, today was lousy, simply because my sinuses gave me a piercing shot of pain through my left eye 35 minutes today. Pain medicine wouldn't touch it. The only thing I could say it was closest to feeling like was like brain freeze... it sucks, but oh well, such is life. On a positive note, Monday is done, only four days till the weekend. To go back to a sour note, I love DeCon rat baits, the moles that typically come in for winter, find it, eat it and are never heard of again. That sounds positive right... until the dang gone rodent dies in the heating duct that feeds your bedroom. I tore apart my room seeing if it died in it, but no... after pinpointing maximums of nasty scent to the kicking on of the furnace, I traced the ammonia smell to the heat vent, but without camera's to confirm or grasping hooks to remove it, I have only one recourse, close the vent and hope to heck it dries out soon. The nasty smell has dissipated some due to the closing, but the forced hot air reminds me each time it kicks on. I may have to tear the heating duct apart regardless of cost if the smell doesn't dissipate soon. Lord, I really hate being alone!
- posted by Bruce @ 6:50 PM

 
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So, as I sit here, I see so much happiness. It makes me so irritated to see other people happy. I know the feeling the suicide bombers feel, this deep down anger at so many people happy who should not be happy. Why them and not me? Make them as miserable as I am... Make the world burn... Then and only then, show them just what I have lived through these past years. Lets see how many still stick around... So why am I?
- posted by Bruce @ 10:23 PM

 
ok, haven't been on here for a while... life is what happens when your busy doing other things. Life is fraught with tragedy, wrapped in could haves, and covered in best intentions. well i'm just about at the end of my rope. Lonely, running out of cash, buried in debt, and honestly considering harm in order to earn some extra cash. I can easily see how people turn to drugs, alcohol, or gambling in order to stabilize everything. I just figure, if no one loves me then what's the big deal if I hurt myself. Besides, the only one getting hurt is me.
- posted by Bruce @ 2:54 PM